Five Months

I found out that time doesn’t heal the pain of a loss. It just becomes your friend, it becomes your companion…

The heart is like a house, with several different rooms. Each one of those represents a different aspect of your life, your family, your work, your fears, your loves, your beliefs… All those rooms have doors to each other. When your partner dies the pain is so intense, because wherever you are you can see those open doors to the room that represented the two of you. Then, little by little, those doors begin to close, because they’re not being used anymore. But that room will always be there, with its feelings, its memories, with the story of that love, and every once in a while you will visit those memories. The pain is not necessarily a bad thing. It is proof that that time in your life was real and intense, and that it was worth being lived.

Life goes on, and you go back to circulating among those rooms where there’s still life. But that door will always be there, and every once in a while you will stop and smile remembering all the good things you lived there. Or you will remember all the plans you had, and feel sorry for everything you couldn’t have. Sometimes you’ll feel guilty when you realize you haven’t been in that room the whole day, the whole week.

My life goes on, but in a way I’m bringing Dave with me. I don’t want to forget, I don’t want to leave him behind. I want to think of him with love, and be grateful for all we shared, I want to trust that someday we’ll be reunited.

It was all worth it.