Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Dave 11/17/99 – Re: Movies
Hi Sunshine,
I think I will give up on the Portuguese. You are very patient with my efforts. Like you said once before, you can't learn from the Internet.
So, tell me why you love "Elephant Man" so much. Have you seen the movie "Ghost"? That's a sad one too. Of course, "Love Story" and "Brian's Song" are pretty much tear jerkers too.
Be prepared... I am very emotional and cry as much as most women. Not at problems in life, but at movies and when someone I love is sad. My father was the same. It isn't considered masculine to cry. Men aren't supposed to cry. No one every doubted the masculinity of my father and I should think they wouldn't question mine. I don't know what an open display of emotion has to do with gender.
No, I can't think of any common expressions used for people who cry. Of course, a person who acts like a child and cries when they don't get their way is called a "Cry Baby" or "Whiner". I might cry and I might complain...
but I never WHINE.
There are many different sayings here. You seem to know most of them. We have a saying; "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". In Russia, they say; "A feather in the hand is better than a bird in the air". I had a book once of sayings and where they came from. Some are quite old. Many are from Europe.
Yes, you should take pictures of Yara every month. They change so much so quickly. She should be standing with support and walking by holding furniture, soon. Then she will start to talk and call you... what will she call you? Here, it's usually MaMa and the father is DaDa.
I have really only had one nickname and that's "Doc". I have been called lots of names, but not really nicknames. I like the Pitusca. I think it fits you.
You asked me if I believe in God. I was raised a Christian and would have a difficult time believing in the son without believing in the father. Yes...
I believe there is an all knowing and all seeing, kind, merciful and understanding God out there. What about you?
Thanks for all the hugs. I can almost feel them.
Hugs back,
dave
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will never bite you. This is the principal difference between a man and a dog."
-Mark Twain
I think I will give up on the Portuguese. You are very patient with my efforts. Like you said once before, you can't learn from the Internet.
So, tell me why you love "Elephant Man" so much. Have you seen the movie "Ghost"? That's a sad one too. Of course, "Love Story" and "Brian's Song" are pretty much tear jerkers too.
Be prepared... I am very emotional and cry as much as most women. Not at problems in life, but at movies and when someone I love is sad. My father was the same. It isn't considered masculine to cry. Men aren't supposed to cry. No one every doubted the masculinity of my father and I should think they wouldn't question mine. I don't know what an open display of emotion has to do with gender.
No, I can't think of any common expressions used for people who cry. Of course, a person who acts like a child and cries when they don't get their way is called a "Cry Baby" or "Whiner". I might cry and I might complain...
but I never WHINE.
There are many different sayings here. You seem to know most of them. We have a saying; "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". In Russia, they say; "A feather in the hand is better than a bird in the air". I had a book once of sayings and where they came from. Some are quite old. Many are from Europe.
Yes, you should take pictures of Yara every month. They change so much so quickly. She should be standing with support and walking by holding furniture, soon. Then she will start to talk and call you... what will she call you? Here, it's usually MaMa and the father is DaDa.
I have really only had one nickname and that's "Doc". I have been called lots of names, but not really nicknames
You asked me if I believe in God. I was raised a Christian and would have a difficult time believing in the son without believing in the father. Yes...
I believe there is an all knowing and all seeing, kind, merciful and understanding God out there. What about you?
Thanks for all the hugs. I can almost feel them.
Hugs back,
dave
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will never bite you. This is the principal difference between a man and a dog."
-Mark Twain
Neysa 11/17/99 - Patience
Dave Querido
I'll love to tell you everything I know about me. There's a lot I'm still learning. Maybe we can learn together.
I had never heard of terrycloth (I think I missed this class in my English course...), but I looked in the Internet. The first thing I saw was a bathrobe, for $90!!!!! That's expensive! (about $180 reais) And that was also the last thing I saw. I think I'd have to feel it, instead of seeing it.
This weekend has been a torture. I couldn't wait to sit in front of my computer and check my e-mail! I've been thinking of so many things to tell you, and now... blank. No, that's not it. It's just that you wrote what I think and how I feel. I'd tell you what I think about love, friendship, trust. But you already know. What else is there to say?
I know what you mean. I've lived with someone who never bothered to really know who I am. No friendship, no love, no trust, no respect. And I see that's the way most people live. They prefer to be with someone, anyone (even someone they hate), so they don't have to think about who they really are.
Meu menino amado, don't tell me you're trying to lose weight!!!! Don't do that. Please! Look at things this way: you're not fat (you may be heavy, but you really don't look fat), you are comfortable! Besides, I love big huge tall men! I love big arms around me. I love big shoulders and chest where I can rest my head.
My sisters use to say that Patience is my middle name, but I'd like to have an idea how patient I'll have to be. Months? Years? (oh, no! Not that, please!) Yes, while we can't see and touch each other, we'll write. (Don't worry about the cookies! I'm sure there will be more. Enjoy them, and don't feel guilty.) And I hope we'll have much time to get to know each other better after we meet.
I understand what you say about being insecure. I think I feel the same way. I'm not looking for a shallow short term relationship. I want someone who can really love, trust and respect me, and who I can love, trust and respect for the rest of my life. It's so simple... and so hard to find.
So... do you still love me???????? :)
Here's my address, in case you wish to send me a Christmas card: (it will be nice to have in my hands something you've touched. I think I'll close my eyes and try to imagine your hands, and how you'll be holding that card, closing the envelope... I'll hold it next to my cheek, and try to feel your hands, your smell...) :)
Rua Guilherme Pugsley 2585 ap 14
Portão - Curitiba - PR
80610-300 Brazil
Send me your address too, and I'll write something for you with my own hands. ;-)
Now answer this:
Do you believe in God?
I'll love to tell you everything I know about me. There's a lot I'm still learning. Maybe we can learn together.
I had never heard of terrycloth (I think I missed this class in my English course...), but I looked in the Internet. The first thing I saw was a bathrobe, for $90!!!!! That's expensive! (about $180 reais) And that was also the last thing I saw. I think I'd have to feel it, instead of seeing it.
This weekend has been a torture. I couldn't wait to sit in front of my computer and check my e-mail! I've been thinking of so many things to tell you, and now... blank. No, that's not it. It's just that you wrote what I think and how I feel. I'd tell you what I think about love, friendship, trust. But you already know. What else is there to say?
I know what you mean. I've lived with someone who never bothered to really know who I am. No friendship, no love, no trust, no respect. And I see that's the way most people live. They prefer to be with someone, anyone (even someone they hate), so they don't have to think about who they really are.
Meu menino amado, don't tell me you're trying to lose weight!!!! Don't do that. Please! Look at things this way: you're not fat (you may be heavy, but you really don't look fat), you are comfortable! Besides, I love big huge tall men! I love big arms around me. I love big shoulders and chest where I can rest my head.
My sisters use to say that Patience is my middle name, but I'd like to have an idea how patient I'll have to be. Months? Years? (oh, no! Not that, please!) Yes, while we can't see and touch each other, we'll write. (Don't worry about the cookies! I'm sure there will be more. Enjoy them, and don't feel guilty.) And I hope we'll have much time to get to know each other better after we meet.
I understand what you say about being insecure. I think I feel the same way. I'm not looking for a shallow short term relationship. I want someone who can really love, trust and respect me, and who I can love, trust and respect for the rest of my life. It's so simple... and so hard to find.
So... do you still love me???????? :)
Here's my address, in case you wish to send me a Christmas card: (it will be nice to have in my hands something you've touched. I think I'll close my eyes and try to imagine your hands, and how you'll be holding that card, closing the envelope... I'll hold it next to my cheek, and try to feel your hands, your smell...) :)
Rua Guilherme Pugsley 2585 ap 14
Portão - Curitiba - PR
80610-300 Brazil
Send me your address too, and I'll write something for you with my own hands. ;-)
Now answer this:
Do you believe in God?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Dave 11/12/99 - Re: Autobiography
Hello Princess,
You could NEVER bore me. You can write as long a letter as you wish and I will try to respond to every question or comment.
Thank you for the Autobiography. It's hard to fill in the years in type.
My mother wrote a fairly detailed (200 typed pages) autobiography before she died. It starts with her first recall at about age 4. That would be 1916, so you can imagine it is pretty interesting. She had five sisters and one brother. She was the youngest and her father died when she was about three months old. Her mother never remarried, so she raised all those kids by herself working in a dress factory. All the girls worked making clothes too. They are ALL gone now. Since my mom was the youngest and I was an accident... most of my cousins were adults when I was born. My sister is 12 years older than me.
I suppose I should write a accounting of my life for my kids, but I'm not exactly ready to end it just yet. Seriously, I'd love to know everything about you. Especially all you secret desires and fetishes.
My fetish is Terrycloth. You know, like towels? Not the velour soft kind but the slightly rough absorbent ones. I had a Terrycloth bathrobe once and had to stop wearing it cause I'd get all excited. I figure if I had some Terrycloth underwear, I'd be dead by 9 in the morning. With a smile... but dead none the less!
Your remark about learning about yourself by writing, was very interesting.
I believe that's true. I think sometimes, that the reason I write so much is just for that reason. I talk the same way. I am very passionate about some things and love to go on and on about them.
I believe that's true. I think sometimes, that the reason I write so much is just for that reason. I talk the same way. I am very passionate about some things and love to go on and on about them.
Friendship is a funny topic. I've read so many definitions of friendship and some are contradictory. I believe the more friends you have the less time you have for yourself. Then again... without friends, you are truly alone. Your children can be friends if you treat them well. I think a husband or wife should be friends and sometimes I think it's more important than love. No secrets, no hidden life or agenda. Total open communication.
So I suppose that means total "Trust". So is "Trust" really Love? Is there anyone out there to whom you could confess all your thoughts and emotions without fear of judgement? I think that would be rare and precious. I got married to Terre in 1974 and we lived together until a couple years ago and I NEVER trusted her enough to tell her my feelings.
Does that mean I never loved her. I think maybe so! Making a couple babies together, doesn't have anything to do with love.
So... I've never had what I want. I will marry again but only ONCE more.
This person will be part of me, but a separate person. I want to find someone that I trust with any and everything. I want someone who will tell me the truth, always, and expect the same from me. I want someone that after 10 years, I am in pain when we are not together. Someone that can excite me and keep our intimate relationship fresh, year after year, with passion and lust. I don't want the "Honeymoon" to ever be OVER. Do you know what I mean?
So I suppose that means total "Trust". So is "Trust" really Love? Is there anyone out there to whom you could confess all your thoughts and emotions without fear of judgement? I think that would be rare and precious. I got married to Terre in 1974 and we lived together until a couple years ago and I NEVER trusted her enough to tell her my feelings.
Does that mean I never loved her. I think maybe so! Making a couple babies together, doesn't have anything to do with love.
So... I've never had what I want. I will marry again but only ONCE more.
This person will be part of me, but a separate person. I want to find someone that I trust with any and everything. I want someone who will tell me the truth, always, and expect the same from me. I want someone that after 10 years, I am in pain when we are not together. Someone that can excite me and keep our intimate relationship fresh, year after year, with passion and lust. I don't want the "Honeymoon" to ever be OVER. Do you know what I mean?
On a lighter note... the cookies are gone. I gave some away and I admit to eating some more. I am really working on that 210kg. I don't honestly know what I weigh, but it's more than most people think. The picture I sent you first of me in the red shirt and little curls in the back of my head...
I was probably about 260 pounds. Look at it! Do I look like 117kg. in that picture? I never can tell people what I weigh until they meet me because they get a picture of me a lot fatter than I am. I don't think you can really tell how big I am in pictures. I have a large body, legs, arms and head. I do like small women though. My first love was 149cm and 42kg.
Anyone over 160cm is too tall for me. Now that I've seen your picture including body, I can say you are about the perfect size. I think I can get my arms ALL the way around you and put you in my pocket if I want.
I'm glad you like the current Dave more then the young Dave. I have some old pictures that I think are funny. I'll attach one of me with a friend and my new puppy (on the seat of my motorcycle). Gee, you were only a little girl when this was taken. (I think about 1975) Check out the hair!
Looks stupid now, but it was "cool" then. The second one is even older. It was taken on Daytona Beach (about 40km from where I now live) in about 1974 or 73. (I was probably about 110kg in this picture and I look almost thin) I'll look for something more current when I get back to work. Most of the digital pics are in there. These are scans of course.
I was probably about 260 pounds. Look at it! Do I look like 117kg. in that picture? I never can tell people what I weigh until they meet me because they get a picture of me a lot fatter than I am. I don't think you can really tell how big I am in pictures. I have a large body, legs, arms and head. I do like small women though. My first love was 149cm and 42kg.
Anyone over 160cm is too tall for me. Now that I've seen your picture including body, I can say you are about the perfect size. I think I can get my arms ALL the way around you and put you in my pocket if I want.
I'm glad you like the current Dave more then the young Dave. I have some old pictures that I think are funny. I'll attach one of me with a friend and my new puppy (on the seat of my motorcycle). Gee, you were only a little girl when this was taken. (I think about 1975) Check out the hair!
Looks stupid now, but it was "cool" then. The second one is even older. It was taken on Daytona Beach (about 40km from where I now live) in about 1974 or 73. (I was probably about 110kg in this picture and I look almost thin) I'll look for something more current when I get back to work. Most of the digital pics are in there. These are scans of course.
Yes my sweet, I'd love to be MORE than friends. How patient are you?
Brazil is a long way away and honestly, I don't know when I'll have the money to visit. We have some time to get to know each other better anyway.
I need some time to work off those chocolate cookies.:) Just believe that I am not playing "Penpal" games and I am truly looking for my lost love, no matter where she is.
Brazil is a long way away and honestly, I don't know when I'll have the money to visit. We have some time to get to know each other better anyway.
I need some time to work off those chocolate cookies.:) Just believe that I am not playing "Penpal" games and I am truly looking for my lost love, no matter where she is.
I just found another picture that David took of me at the races last summer.
I was clocking lap times on Steve in his Alfa Romeo racer at the Sebring Racetrack. David waited until he was in the picture and snapped it. See, I am a fat old man now!!!
I was clocking lap times on Steve in his Alfa Romeo racer at the Sebring Racetrack. David waited until he was in the picture and snapped it. See, I am a fat old man now!!!
OK, little angel, that is enough for this note. If you don't work until Monday, you may not get this until then anyway. I get excited when I see new mail from you, so don't make me wait too long.
I didn't mean to make this letter sound like I am insecure about myself or anything else. I am very positive and sure of myself. I know exactly what I want in life and it is very simple. I truly need someone very special. I am impressed with your communication skills and your open trusting way. I will never violate your trust, so don't hold back. I will tell you the truth always and I expect the same.
So... do you still love me???????? :)
dave
"There are three lessons I would write,
three words as with a burning pen,
in tracings of eternal light
upon the hearts of men.
Hope, Faith, and Love"
three words as with a burning pen,
in tracings of eternal light
upon the hearts of men.
Hope, Faith, and Love"
-Johann von Schiller
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Dave 11/11/99 - Re: What????????
Hi angelface,
I just got off the phone with you. You have a mousey very melodic voice. I understand your not talking much. It is difficult in a different language than you are used to and it's natural to be hesitant to try. But you must think of how tolerant you would be with someone trying to speak in your language and how you would be understanding. Realize it is the same with me.
Now before I forget...
http://babelfish.altavista.com/cgi-bin/translate?
I just typed in "Sunshine" and it gave me "Luz do sol". When you translate "Luz do sol" back into Portuguese, you get "light of the sun". How about "Cara do angel"? The problem seems to be that if you say in English, "Angel face", then the noun is "face" and "angel" becomes an adjective do describe what kind of face. In Portuguese, the adjective comes after the noun so you end up with "face of angel".
I don't know why I'm trying to figure out Portuguese since your English is very good. It's just that I have always loved to learn new things.
I know we are just friends now and email chums, but I hope the age difference doesn't bother you. I didn't pay any attention to ages when I responded to your ad. I don't think it matters much in the long run. If you do, just say so and I'll understand.
I think I can stand maybe three more cookies with a glass of cold milk before I go to bed. Tomorrow, I am playing Golf with some friends. I haven't played in a long time so it should be interesting. It's a very frustrating game but the weather is so nice with bright sun and white puffy clouds, it's just nice to be out of the house doing something besides work.
I'm really interested in your thoughts about our conversation. You acted surprised that I actually called, but it's not really that expensive for me.
Less than if we were close and went out to eat or something like that.
I will say good bye for now and I'm looking forward to your next note.
Maybe I will write for you, an autobiography since you seemed interested in where I was born and stuff. I don't wish to bore you with my life story unless you really want to know. I would be interested in yours also. It's all part of getting to know each other. I will attach an old picture of me that I scanned. It is when I was a police officer. I was about 28 years old. Wish I looked like that now!
hugs,
dave
"See the way she rests her cheek upon her hand O' that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek."
-Romeo & Juliet
I just got off the phone with you. You have a mousey very melodic voice. I understand your not talking much. It is difficult in a different language than you are used to and it's natural to be hesitant to try. But you must think of how tolerant you would be with someone trying to speak in your language and how you would be understanding. Realize it is the same with me.
Now before I forget...
http://babelfish.altavista.com/cgi-bin/translate?
I just typed in "Sunshine" and it gave me "Luz do sol". When you translate "Luz do sol" back into Portuguese, you get "light of the sun". How about "Cara do angel"? The problem seems to be that if you say in English, "Angel face", then the noun is "face" and "angel" becomes an adjective do describe what kind of face. In Portuguese, the adjective comes after the noun so you end up with "face of angel".
I don't know why I'm trying to figure out Portuguese since your English is very good. It's just that I have always loved to learn new things.
I know we are just friends now and email chums, but I hope the age difference doesn't bother you. I didn't pay any attention to ages when I responded to your ad. I don't think it matters much in the long run. If you do, just say so and I'll understand.
I think I can stand maybe three more cookies with a glass of cold milk before I go to bed. Tomorrow, I am playing Golf with some friends. I haven't played in a long time so it should be interesting. It's a very frustrating game but the weather is so nice with bright sun and white puffy clouds, it's just nice to be out of the house doing something besides work.
I'm really interested in your thoughts about our conversation. You acted surprised that I actually called, but it's not really that expensive for me.
Less than if we were close and went out to eat or something like that.
I will say good bye for now and I'm looking forward to your next note.
Maybe I will write for you, an autobiography since you seemed interested in where I was born and stuff. I don't wish to bore you with my life story unless you really want to know. I would be interested in yours also. It's all part of getting to know each other. I will attach an old picture of me that I scanned. It is when I was a police officer. I was about 28 years old. Wish I looked like that now!
hugs,
dave
"See the way she rests her cheek upon her hand O' that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek."
-Romeo & Juliet
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Dave 11/11/99 - Re:
Hi Moonbeam,
I believe that 3c is about 37f. Freezing is 32f. This morning here, it was about 12c and went to about 28c this afternoon. We will sometimes get lows below freezing, but as soon as the sun rises, it warms nicely. At its coldest, it seldom fails to reach 15c during the day. I wear shorts all year during the day. I usually don't take a coat to work, because even if it's cold enough during the early morning, by 10am or so, I'm carrying it, instead of wearing it anyway.
Yes, we have hurricanes, but if you don't live right on the ocean or gulf and if you don't have a big boat or glass house, there isn't too much to worry about. No earthquakes at all. Florida sits on sand and limestone, so no tremors.
Meu menino do amante, was a translation of "your little lover boy". Now when I do it, I get "seu menino pequeno do amante". But when I do it in reverse, that comes out "its small boy of the loving one". I think I'll quit with my Portuguese lessons.
As far as you name goes... Of course I have no choice but to apply rules of English to pronounce it. I suspect that will be incorrect. I'll just call you "Sunshine".
In English your name would be "Ney-sa". I think I'd pronouce your name, "Nay-A-za". You can tell me when I call.
Speaking of that... I didn't forget, but I've determined that you are two hours later than here. That means to call you between 9pm and 11pm your time, I'd have to call between 7pm and 9pm our time. I haven't been home during that time for the last couple days. We are putting the engine back together for the race car. Maybe I can call tomorrow (Thursday) since I should be home.
Your babies are adorable. Yara has the most beautiful eyes, I've ever seen on a baby, and Kimie's smile just melts me. You did good. Yara's picture was huge and it over filled my screen. I'll send you a separate email with it resized and I changed the contrast and played with the color. The camera flash so close up, washed out her face. The one of Kimie on the bed, was very dark, I'll try to lighten it for you also. I work with digital images as a hobby and can do most anything with them. I'll also attach a pic of me taken about a year ago by David jr. in the forest. Nice legs, huh?
You are right, photos don't tell much. They are "Static" and people are "Dynamic". Sometimes capturing a tiny fraction of a second in time doesn't tell you what the person looks like when they move. I would love to see some more "Static" pictures of you, however. Do you actually have a body from the shoulders down? Your face doesn't look like you are overweight, but I forgot what you told me about height and weight. I am 188cm and about 210kg. (or was that 210cm and 188kg?) I suppose if I was 210cm tall, I'd be
playing basketball. I'm just a grizzly bear.
I am baking chocolate chip cookies, so I'd better get them from the oven before they are like "Hockey Pucks". What would I do with four dozen Hockey pucks?
by your leave m'lady,
dave
"Look like the innocent flower,
but be the serpent under it"
-Shakespeare
I believe that 3c is about 37f. Freezing is 32f. This morning here, it was about 12c and went to about 28c this afternoon. We will sometimes get lows below freezing, but as soon as the sun rises, it warms nicely. At its coldest, it seldom fails to reach 15c during the day. I wear shorts all year during the day. I usually don't take a coat to work, because even if it's cold enough during the early morning, by 10am or so, I'm carrying it, instead of wearing it anyway.
Yes, we have hurricanes, but if you don't live right on the ocean or gulf and if you don't have a big boat or glass house, there isn't too much to worry about. No earthquakes at all. Florida sits on sand and limestone, so no tremors.
Meu menino do amante, was a translation of "your little lover boy". Now when I do it, I get "seu menino pequeno do amante". But when I do it in reverse, that comes out "its small boy of the loving one". I think I'll quit with my Portuguese lessons.
As far as you name goes... Of course I have no choice but to apply rules of English to pronounce it. I suspect that will be incorrect. I'll just call you "Sunshine".
In English your name would be "Ney-sa". I think I'd pronouce your name, "Nay-A-za". You can tell me when I call.
Speaking of that... I didn't forget, but I've determined that you are two hours later than here. That means to call you between 9pm and 11pm your time, I'd have to call between 7pm and 9pm our time. I haven't been home during that time for the last couple days. We are putting the engine back together for the race car. Maybe I can call tomorrow (Thursday) since I should be home.
Your babies are adorable. Yara has the most beautiful eyes, I've ever seen on a baby, and Kimie's smile just melts me. You did good. Yara's picture was huge and it over filled my screen. I'll send you a separate email with it resized and I changed the contrast and played with the color. The camera flash so close up, washed out her face. The one of Kimie on the bed, was very dark, I'll try to lighten it for you also. I work with digital images as a hobby and can do most anything with them. I'll also attach a pic of me taken about a year ago by David jr. in the forest. Nice legs, huh?
You are right, photos don't tell much. They are "Static" and people are "Dynamic". Sometimes capturing a tiny fraction of a second in time doesn't tell you what the person looks like when they move. I would love to see some more "Static" pictures of you, however. Do you actually have a body from the shoulders down? Your face doesn't look like you are overweight, but I forgot what you told me about height and weight. I am 188cm and about 210kg. (or was that 210cm and 188kg?) I suppose if I was 210cm tall, I'd be
playing basketball. I'm just a grizzly bear.
I am baking chocolate chip cookies, so I'd better get them from the oven before they are like "Hockey Pucks". What would I do with four dozen Hockey pucks?
by your leave m'lady,
dave
"Look like the innocent flower,
but be the serpent under it"
-Shakespeare
Saturday, July 18, 2009
How cancer kills
When the doctors told me Dave's condition was terminal, I asked several people how cancer works, what it does to the body, how it kills. I couldn't get an explanation that would satisfy me, so I looked online. I found a lot of info, but one in particular was really interesting and did explain what happens. Here is the information I found:
What Is Cancer?
When you hear the word "cancer", chances are that you think of it as a single disease, like "pneumonia" or "AIDs". But this is somewhat misleading.
Cancer is the name we give to any illness that results when our body's own cells grow out of control.
Grow out of control. That's the key distinction.
All cells grow. That is what they are intended to do. Cell growth occurs naturally billions and billions of times each day in our bodies. You cut your finger. Some cells die. The cut heals. Some cells grow. You brush your hair. Old hair, made up of dead cells, falls out. New hair grows in from the roots. You age. Some brain cells die. You learn. Some brain cells are born.
Billions and billions of these cell transactions go on everyday without us noticing them. Cells are created from the division of other cells. They do what they are supposed to do – carry blood, help us grow new hair, mend a cut finger -- then they take a bow, exit the stage and die, only to be replaced instantaneaously by the new kids on the block.
We humans are forever renewing ourselves. The skin you have covering your body has been sloughed off and rebuilt many times since you were a baby. Your head of hair is not the same head of hair you had as an infant. There are many processes that control a cell’s growth and division, each of which can go wrong. As a general rule-of-thumb, several of these control mechanisms need to be damaged before a cell becomes cancerous.
There are between 50 and 75 trillion cells in the human body. That's "trillion", with a "t". A trillion is 1000 billion. 1 million million. A lot. So, when we say that cells are dividing billions and billions of times each day we are not exaggerating.
So, what is cancer? Cancer-- out of control growth—occurs when one --just one --of those 50 trillion cells goes wacky. It comes on stage, does its job, but when it is time to exit and die, it doesn't leave. It hangs on, and keeps on growing and growing.
Cancer is a collection of over 200 diseases in which cells of an organ or tissue in the body become abnormal, growing and multiplying out of control. Normal cells have a life cycle and they reproduce themselves throughout the body in an orderly and controlled manner. Normal growth continues throughout life to replace worn out tissue, to heal wounds, and to maintain healthy organs. When cells grow out of control, they usually form a mass, called a tumour.
Some tumours grow and enlarge only at the site where they begin and these are referred to as benign tumours. Other tumours not only enlarge locally but also have the potential to invade and destroy the normal tissue around them and to spread to distant parts of the body. Such tumours are called malignant tumours or cancers.
Distant spread of a cancer occurs when malignant cells become detached from the original (primary) tumour, get carried to other parts of the body and establish themselves in the new site as an independent (secondary) cancer. A tumour that has spread in this manner is said to have metastasized and the secondary tumour (or tumours) is called a metastasis (or metastases).
When you hear the word "cancer", chances are that you think of it as a single disease, like "pneumonia" or "AIDs". But this is somewhat misleading.
Cancer is the name we give to any illness that results when our body's own cells grow out of control.
Grow out of control. That's the key distinction.
All cells grow. That is what they are intended to do. Cell growth occurs naturally billions and billions of times each day in our bodies. You cut your finger. Some cells die. The cut heals. Some cells grow. You brush your hair. Old hair, made up of dead cells, falls out. New hair grows in from the roots. You age. Some brain cells die. You learn. Some brain cells are born.
Billions and billions of these cell transactions go on everyday without us noticing them. Cells are created from the division of other cells. They do what they are supposed to do – carry blood, help us grow new hair, mend a cut finger -- then they take a bow, exit the stage and die, only to be replaced instantaneaously by the new kids on the block.
We humans are forever renewing ourselves. The skin you have covering your body has been sloughed off and rebuilt many times since you were a baby. Your head of hair is not the same head of hair you had as an infant. There are many processes that control a cell’s growth and division, each of which can go wrong. As a general rule-of-thumb, several of these control mechanisms need to be damaged before a cell becomes cancerous.
There are between 50 and 75 trillion cells in the human body. That's "trillion", with a "t". A trillion is 1000 billion. 1 million million. A lot. So, when we say that cells are dividing billions and billions of times each day we are not exaggerating.
So, what is cancer? Cancer-- out of control growth—occurs when one --just one --of those 50 trillion cells goes wacky. It comes on stage, does its job, but when it is time to exit and die, it doesn't leave. It hangs on, and keeps on growing and growing.
Cancer is a collection of over 200 diseases in which cells of an organ or tissue in the body become abnormal, growing and multiplying out of control. Normal cells have a life cycle and they reproduce themselves throughout the body in an orderly and controlled manner. Normal growth continues throughout life to replace worn out tissue, to heal wounds, and to maintain healthy organs. When cells grow out of control, they usually form a mass, called a tumour.
Some tumours grow and enlarge only at the site where they begin and these are referred to as benign tumours. Other tumours not only enlarge locally but also have the potential to invade and destroy the normal tissue around them and to spread to distant parts of the body. Such tumours are called malignant tumours or cancers.
Distant spread of a cancer occurs when malignant cells become detached from the original (primary) tumour, get carried to other parts of the body and establish themselves in the new site as an independent (secondary) cancer. A tumour that has spread in this manner is said to have metastasized and the secondary tumour (or tumours) is called a metastasis (or metastases).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How cancer kills
"Cancer" is actually the name of any disease in which cells grow out of control. It is not a single disease. There are over 200 known types of cancer.
If a cell grows out of control, it eventually "crowds out" the vital functions every cell needs to accomplish to keep you healthy.
Think of the cell as an Office. There are people who work in the office doing their jobs. Their jobs range from somewhat important to vitally important. When the office is running smoothly, every body has enough space to do their job well.
Now imagine that, into this smoothly running Office, a high school band marches in. It's not that the music isn't good or appreciated. It's just that there is not enough room in the Office to accommodate a marching band. So, the Boss asks the Band to please leave.
But, to every one's astonishment, the Band won't leave. The Band plays on, as it were.
The Boss is helpless to throw the Band out, so they try to work around the Marching Band. The secretaries try to type and collate but the Trumpeters get in the way. The accountants try to count but the drummers have taken all the pens and are using them as drum sticks. It's a mess.
What makes it even worse is that the Band not only keeps playing. But it keeps growing. Every day or so, another hundred members are added to the Band, hopelessly crowding this small Office.
The normal functioning of the Office is destroyed. Eventually, the Office just shuts down in futility.
This is what happens when cancer invades your body. It crowds out the normal smooth coordinated functions of the human body. Organs stop getting the nutrients they need because the cells that should have been performing that function have been crowded out by cancer cells.
So, eventually, the affected organs shut down and stop working.
"Cancer" is actually the name of any disease in which cells grow out of control. It is not a single disease. There are over 200 known types of cancer.
If a cell grows out of control, it eventually "crowds out" the vital functions every cell needs to accomplish to keep you healthy.
Think of the cell as an Office. There are people who work in the office doing their jobs. Their jobs range from somewhat important to vitally important. When the office is running smoothly, every body has enough space to do their job well.
Now imagine that, into this smoothly running Office, a high school band marches in. It's not that the music isn't good or appreciated. It's just that there is not enough room in the Office to accommodate a marching band. So, the Boss asks the Band to please leave.
But, to every one's astonishment, the Band won't leave. The Band plays on, as it were.
The Boss is helpless to throw the Band out, so they try to work around the Marching Band. The secretaries try to type and collate but the Trumpeters get in the way. The accountants try to count but the drummers have taken all the pens and are using them as drum sticks. It's a mess.
What makes it even worse is that the Band not only keeps playing. But it keeps growing. Every day or so, another hundred members are added to the Band, hopelessly crowding this small Office.
The normal functioning of the Office is destroyed. Eventually, the Office just shuts down in futility.
This is what happens when cancer invades your body. It crowds out the normal smooth coordinated functions of the human body. Organs stop getting the nutrients they need because the cells that should have been performing that function have been crowded out by cancer cells.
So, eventually, the affected organs shut down and stop working.
Dave 11/08/99 - Re: :-)
manhã boa, minha princesa
See... it's not THAT difficult! Let me try this, then I will tell you how I did it.
Como são você hoje? Eu estou experimentando com uma coisa da tradução no Internet. Eu não penso que o dicionário é muito bom, mas se você pode ler este, deve trabalhar a um determinado grau. Deixe-me saber e eu di-lo-ei que o local e você podem o tentar.
Is it very good? I type in English and it translates. Then I just copy and paste it. I suppose it's cheating but interesting anyway. Your suggested terms of endearment only registered two hits. "Beloved" and "Cat". Of course, Gato is Cat in Spanish also, so I recognized that one. I don't think I wish to be a "Cat". Dave, is fine for now.
My week off hasn't been very productive so far. I have a list of things to do, but I keep finding chores not on the list. At least I got my computer back up and running. I found a ISP for only $17 USD a month with unlimited access, so I think I will stay with it. Tomorrow, a friend and I will go shopping for bargains at hobby shops. His hobby is building small scale model airplanes. I like to do this also, but don't have the time. I like cars more, anyway.
It sounds like you will have a little vacation in January. Yara, is a bit young to leave with others, isn't she? Do you have any pictures of the girls? I am interested in seeing them. I shaved my beard yesterday. From time to time, I shave it and let my face see the sun. Plus it's nice to force the little creatures that live there, to find a new home. Little owls, birds and insects. :) I look different without it. My friends say I look 15 years younger and 20 pounds heavier. (Sorry, about 8 kgms)
I don't understand the resistance here to converting to the metric system.
When I correspond with anyone outside our boundries, I must keep remembering that you don't use the same temperature scale, measure of volume, distance or weight. I am familiar with most of it, having worked on cars and motorcycles from Italy and Japan. Of course, most dealers of illegal drugs, certainly know grams instead of ounces. I guess anyway we can learn it, is good, but the road signs still say so many MILES to a place and auto speedometers are calibrated for miles instead of Kilometers. What the hell is an "INCH" anyway. I wonder where it came from. I sure don't know.
I think I sent you a picture of me without the beard once. It was my son and I with a red Ferrari. I have another one of just me, but it's a bit far away. I'll send it with this. It was from last February.
I'm sorry to hear it is not sunny there. We have a newspaper here that will give a free paper if the sun fails to show itself on any day. There are very few days that there is no sun. We get lots of rain, but usually in the afternoon and it is just a passing shower with sun before and sun after.
Sometimes, even sun during the rain.
YES, give my your phone number. You should have a country code, city code and number, but I can investigate the country and city codes on the Internet. It would be nice to actually hear your voice, if even for only a few minutes.
This is fun, isn't it? Maybe, next year I will come to visit you and your babies. I haven't had a little girl on my lap in a long time. I'd also like to hold your children! :)
Seu menino do amante,
Dave
See... it's not THAT difficult! Let me try this, then I will tell you how I did it.
Como são você hoje? Eu estou experimentando com uma coisa da tradução no Internet. Eu não penso que o dicionário é muito bom, mas se você pode ler este, deve trabalhar a um determinado grau. Deixe-me saber e eu di-lo-ei que o local e você podem o tentar.
Is it very good? I type in English and it translates. Then I just copy and paste it. I suppose it's cheating but interesting anyway. Your suggested terms of endearment only registered two hits. "Beloved" and "Cat". Of course, Gato is Cat in Spanish also, so I recognized that one. I don't think I wish to be a "Cat". Dave, is fine for now.
My week off hasn't been very productive so far. I have a list of things to do, but I keep finding chores not on the list. At least I got my computer back up and running. I found a ISP for only $17 USD a month with unlimited access, so I think I will stay with it. Tomorrow, a friend and I will go shopping for bargains at hobby shops. His hobby is building small scale model airplanes. I like to do this also, but don't have the time. I like cars more, anyway.
It sounds like you will have a little vacation in January. Yara, is a bit young to leave with others, isn't she? Do you have any pictures of the girls? I am interested in seeing them. I shaved my beard yesterday. From time to time, I shave it and let my face see the sun. Plus it's nice to force the little creatures that live there, to find a new home. Little owls, birds and insects. :) I look different without it. My friends say I look 15 years younger and 20 pounds heavier. (Sorry, about 8 kgms)
I don't understand the resistance here to converting to the metric system.
When I correspond with anyone outside our boundries, I must keep remembering that you don't use the same temperature scale, measure of volume, distance or weight. I am familiar with most of it, having worked on cars and motorcycles from Italy and Japan. Of course, most dealers of illegal drugs, certainly know grams instead of ounces. I guess anyway we can learn it, is good, but the road signs still say so many MILES to a place and auto speedometers are calibrated for miles instead of Kilometers. What the hell is an "INCH" anyway. I wonder where it came from. I sure don't know.
I think I sent you a picture of me without the beard once. It was my son and I with a red Ferrari. I have another one of just me, but it's a bit far away. I'll send it with this. It was from last February.
I'm sorry to hear it is not sunny there. We have a newspaper here that will give a free paper if the sun fails to show itself on any day. There are very few days that there is no sun. We get lots of rain, but usually in the afternoon and it is just a passing shower with sun before and sun after.
Sometimes, even sun during the rain.
YES, give my your phone number. You should have a country code, city code and number, but I can investigate the country and city codes on the Internet. It would be nice to actually hear your voice, if even for only a few minutes.
This is fun, isn't it? Maybe, next year I will come to visit you and your babies. I haven't had a little girl on my lap in a long time. I'd also like to hold your children! :)
Seu menino do amante,
Dave
Friday, July 17, 2009
Brick walls
The water is good, and we both dove head first. Our practical sense, and also our past experiences are telling us to slow down. Actually it was the distance that helped keep us grounded. Maybe we wouldn't have gotten so deeply involved if we had physical contact early in the relationship. But we were too far away from each other, and all we could do was talk.
And talk we did! And enchantment followed! And we wanted more and more. We started sending single line messages sometimes, just to feed the addiction. An email just to say good morning. An email just to let the other know we were thinking of them. At the same time, we were building the foundation of a relationship that became greater than the distance between us, greater than the obstacles we had to overcome, greater than two years of emails and phone calls. Greater than the advice of well intended friends who told us this would never work.
The expression "true love" seems such a silly cliche, a foolish idea that will inevitably end up in disappointment. Dave and I were actually surprised every time we looked back and realized our love kept growing stronger day after day. And I want to keep this love alive. I want it to be an inspiration for other lovers.
I just read "The Last Lecture". In the book, the author talks about brick walls. He says the brick walls are not there to keep us out. They're there so we can prove how bad we want something. Dave and I went through several brick walls. And I am proud of what we achieved.
Love is a powerful drug
Rereading those emails I see how fast things evolved between me and Dave. We were kind of living day by day, a life that was boring and lacking a purpose. We didn’t love anybody and nobody loved us.
Once somebody asked me what was my goal in life. Not God’s purpose for me, not my role in the great scheme of things, but what did I want to accomplish in my life, what was it that would make my life complete. It wasn’t that easy to look inside myself for the answer, but after discarding all the worries about how anybody else would judge it, the answer was actually very simple. I wanted to love and be loved.
The easy part is to love. I have loved a few times, but I had never been loved. Nobody, before Dave, had bothered to really know me and love me for what I am. Nobody bothered to look into my painful memories and wish they were there to comfort me. Nobody had seen the path I traveled to get to what I am today and seen the beauty in me through all my experiences.
And then this guy from halfway around the world shows up. And he’s as hungry to show himself and be loved for everything he is as I am.
Those first emails were kind of testing the waters to see if it was safe to jump. And the water was so inviting! Soon we were looking forward to what would be in our inbox the next day. We wanted more and we had a whole lifetime of thoughts and feelings to share.
And the more we shared the more we felt accepted and embraced.
Dave 11/04/99 - Re: My loves and hates
Hi Princess,
Thanks for the long letter. I will try to answer but it may take me some time. I like to be fair and answer a long letter with a long letter. Now to your loves and hates...
I too, love children. Yours are young and I don't know about relating to babies but I didn't have a problem when mine were very small. I used to get up in the middle of the night and feed, diaper and rock them to sleep sometimes. My daughter at 5, was attached to my hip and I couldn't (and didn't really want to) go anywhere without her. She is 20 now and still just as sweet, although she has managed to break the attachment and I only see her when she needs something.
Yes, you must tell me how you ended up with a 7 month old. Actually, I know the process, but I assume little Yara was a welcome accident.
I also love talking to nice people. I love my friends and my family as well.
I love History and hate Math.I love to cook and don't mind washing dishes.
I hate eggplant, Zuchini but do love my chocolate cake. I like some health food, some junk food and most everything else.
I also love to swim and just lie back in the water and let it soothe me.
I love it when my son, David Jr. tells me I'm his best friend.
I love to laugh and talk about silly things MOST of the time. Serious is boring!
I don't think about hate much either because it makes me sad and I much prefer happy.
What I HATE is people who are always gloomy and negative about everything.... How's that? I also hate liars and thieves. I hate people who harm and exploit children and old people and I hate people who use their office or position to gain personal favor. Like a teacher or parent taking advantage of a child, or a politician, policeman or corporate executive who steals, cheats or commits crimes facilitated by their office.
I don't think 8000 km is that far away. Just think, that's less than 5000 miles. Also, look at it from the standpoint that it is the same time here as there. I believe we are both in the same time zone if you are in the Eastern zone there. At least with it the same time in both places, I feel closer. Of course it's Fall here and is getting cooler and your seasons are reversed, but we can't have everything, right?
I don't worry about distance. If I get interested enough, I'll just fly down and visit you for a few days and you can show me the man eating fish, giant snakes, dark skinned natives with bones in their noses and of course the jungle in your back yard. Or if you can get a Visa, you can come here and I will show you Daytona Beach, Disneyworld and the jungle in MY back yard.
I will attach a picture of my "way too big house for one person".
Why don't you marry me and Kimie can have her own bedroom, and so can the baby. You!!! I'm afraid, must share a room!!!
Hugz,
dave"
Familiarity breeds contempt... and children"
-Mark Twain
About some of my posts
I had started posting here using titles like "first email", "second email", etc. I found out that wasn't going to work for long. If I went on like that, soon I'd have to post "onde hundred and thirty sixth email", and so on. So, to simplify, the titles of posts with emails are who wrote the email, the date, and the subject.
Also, it won't be possible to post the image for every email. My messages are saved on .msg format. That's the extension used by Microsoft Outlook. It so happens that the newest Windows versions don't come with Outlook anymore. (Why, oh why???) I don't like to pirate software, and I don't want to pay over a hundred bucks for something I'm not going to use that much. Well, actually I am going to use it a lot, but I have an old computer with Outlook. So I'm using that old computer, opening the messages with Outlook, and saving them as images using "print screen". I don't know if that's the best method, but that's what I can do with my limited knowledge. Some of the emails are too long to fit in the screen, so I can't use "print screen". In those cases, I'll just post the text.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Five Months
I found out that time doesn’t heal the pain of a loss. It just becomes your friend, it becomes your companion…
The heart is like a house, with several different rooms. Each one of those represents a different aspect of your life, your family, your work, your fears, your loves, your beliefs… All those rooms have doors to each other. When your partner dies the pain is so intense, because wherever you are you can see those open doors to the room that represented the two of you. Then, little by little, those doors begin to close, because they’re not being used anymore. But that room will always be there, with its feelings, its memories, with the story of that love, and every once in a while you will visit those memories. The pain is not necessarily a bad thing. It is proof that that time in your life was real and intense, and that it was worth being lived.
Life goes on, and you go back to circulating among those rooms where there’s still life. But that door will always be there, and every once in a while you will stop and smile remembering all the good things you lived there. Or you will remember all the plans you had, and feel sorry for everything you couldn’t have. Sometimes you’ll feel guilty when you realize you haven’t been in that room the whole day, the whole week.
My life goes on, but in a way I’m bringing Dave with me. I don’t want to forget, I don’t want to leave him behind. I want to think of him with love, and be grateful for all we shared, I want to trust that someday we’ll be reunited.
It was all worth it.
Somewhe Out There
(written by James Horner, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil)
Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave and I communicated online for 25 months before I moved here. We exchanged emails and talked live every day, and after just a few months we already knew there was something very special between us. Despite the distance, we felt a very strong connection, and that's where "Somewhere Out There" became part of our history.
We were talking one night, and that song started to play. I paid attention to the lyrics and realized it said a lot about us, that although we were so far apart, we were sleeping underneath the same sky, and that love would see us through.
And our love was strong and kept growing through the distance for over two years, until we could be together here, where my dreams came true.
We were talking one night, and that song started to play. I paid attention to the lyrics and realized it said a lot about us, that although we were so far apart, we were sleeping underneath the same sky, and that love would see us through.
And our love was strong and kept growing through the distance for over two years, until we could be together here, where my dreams came true.
Happy birthday, baby
Dave would have been 62 last June 30. I sent him an email wishing him happy birthday. I still write him often. When something happens I still think "I have to tell Dave that...", then I remember I don't have that person anymore to whom I used to tell everything. At least he won't answer me anymore. I still miss him. I hope he's fine, that he doesn't have any more headaches, and that he's surrounded by people who love him. And I hope he looks down here every once in a while and thinks of me with love.
Happy birthday, honey!
I love you!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Neysa 10/20/99 - My smiling face
This was my answer, just to send a picture, like Dave said, "get past the picture thing". The picture I sent is the one on my profile. It's my favorite picture. I was happy and in love.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Dave 10/19/99 - Hi back
That's the picture he sent me with that email. I didn't like it. But he was WAAAAAAAAAAY over there in the US and I was WAAAAAAAAAY over there in Brazil. What harm would it do to answer? Who knows? Actually, I wasn't looking for love. Much less in another country!!! I wanted to meet someone special, maybe. Later I found out that Dave felt the same. He had had too many disappointments and was tired of playing this game. You never know, right? Maybe that person was hiding in a distant land, just waiting for a miracle...
I honestly believe that finding Dave was a miracle. And what followed during nine years after that email transformed me into a different person. Everything I have here, I have Dave to thank for. My home, my city, my job, all the opportunities, my identity, my citizenship, my new family, my name, the air I breathe. Things I wouldn't even dream of ten years ago. It may sound cliche, but this love did change my life. And it changed me. I know now that love is possible and real. And our love goes on, in the life I have here, in my realtionship with my stepchildren, and in these memories.
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